DIRTY

I’ve done some dirt.

Judge me if it makes you feel better.

Love me, hate me,

Opinions won’t change any of it.

All of my dirt,

Keeps things interesting.

I’ve dusted it off.

Swam in clean, clear waters,

Someday the ashes of my dust will settle.

Until than,

my story will only continue to get better.

NOT A BELIEVER

If I tell you

I miss you,

will it matter to you?

It destroys me to pieces knowing my absence doesn’t bother you.

This void deep down in my chest

doesn’t know any end.

All this hoping and praying hasn’t turned me into a believer.

I am nowhere nearer to being with you. 

Seems like I’ll go on,

missing you.

INSIDE ME

I’ve told the inside of me,

it’s time to take a different path.

These feeling are fighting me hard.

Making everything inside me hurt so badly.

Crying doesn’t help with anything.

Forgetting doesn’t seem to be a possibility.

Accepting what is and letting it pass

is taking its sweet time on me.

Can’t help but wonder,

what’s waiting on the other side of this nothingness.

The waiting is shrinking what’s left,

Inside Me“.

REBEL

Rebel Rebell 

Take off the mask.

Let the sheep wonder why you walk alone.

It’s not scary when you don’t care who stares.

They watch, wanting to understand.

How you find direction for the road less traveled.

Feeling inspiration from all kinds of vibes.

Let the energy from within shine bright.

Be that light.

Show them how to harness the power sleeping inside.

INSANITY

I’m not the door.

I’m the hand.

The words came to me in a dream.

The realization made perfect sense.

It’s the path I want to travel.

It’s the road that leads to you.

You’re who I’ve been wanting to meet.

Interested?

You should be,

the words woke me.

Looking forward to the stretched out hand that leads to the opposite side of the insanity.

How long will madness take its turn visiting my dreams, before the conquering master rescues what left of the true me? 

LIFE HAPPENS

Forgive me for having to leave you behind.

You weren’t ready to grow and move past all the obstacles in that part of your life.

I tried to wait but time doesn’t stand still for absolutely no one.

Life happens and I tried a few different paths.

Pulling my own weight was challenging enough

You can play the blame game.

Curse me for not holding your hand every step of the way.

It took me a long time to realize,

I’m not responsible for what you decide. 

I can lend a hand.

Even listen to you for a while.

I find it’s more out of pity these day.

Memories of us are a blur.

You’re still unchanged.

What a shame,

you blame others

for staying in the same place.

BYE BITCH BYE

Hey girl hey.

I had a dream.

You and I came eye to eye.

Always all up in my head.

Whispering all kinds of lies.

I laughed when I finally set my eyes on you.

Hot damn, seriously that was you?

Playing games with my head.

A jester fucking with my mind.

Thank you GOD for a hardcore life.

Gave me the strength to go toe to toe with my ego.

I can put it in writing, scream it out into the air, the world is my witness.

I turn my back on you.

Bye Bitch Bye.

You whisper so many lies.

LOVE SICK

Can I spend time with you?

You’re far from my reach but I still want to impress you. 

In the name of what feels like “love”, I won’t stop until I’ve caught up with you.

It’s painfully beautiful, this struggle with love. 

All it takes is a smile to keep all these flames on a low steady blaze.

You didn’t even have to cast a spell on me.

I follow you willingly.

I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Wanting you so badly.

My only remedy is pretending this situation is temporary.

Until then I’ll go on feverishly eyeing you.

ME BEFORE YOU

How do I rid myself of remembering all the different ways you use to love me?

I pray to forget how much you’ve hurt me.

I prefer to remember me before you.

That’s not true.

The thought of not knowing you is worse then trying to unlove you.

In this lifetime I’m not meant to have you, as long as I would have liked to.

The “Me Before You”, is long gone.

Today I walk with healing cracks all over my heart.

Besides that,

this new me feels strong.

Ready to start singing “a platinum love song”.